Monday, October 7, 2013

memories.

i wish i could remember where i first hear this term...
but i completely agree that mothers are the "memory keepers" of their family.

we observe with more attention,
feel the gravity of moments with more depth,
and recognize significance with greater understanding.

more than anyone else in our children's lives,
we are aware of their souls and sensitive to their growth.

i want to be able to look back on this season of our journey and be transported for a moment,
 to a memory. to a season lived.

i want to be able to smell fall as it first enters our home.
the cinnamon, cloves and orange peels brewing on my stove.

to feel the cool, crispness that kisses my face and makes me want to linger in its presence forever.

i want to remember the slow rise and fall of my madden's chest as he is snuggled into me.
completely at peace, holding on to my arm tight to ensure the moment never leaves.

i want to remember what i feel when i look deep into my tobin's eyes as i feed him.
his eyes are a mile deep.
they tell me about joy and contentment and grace.
and most of all love.
every time i nurse my boy, he reaches his palm up to my lips and rests it there.
its as if he wants to feel my songs, my words, my kisses...to catch my love as it pours out.

i want to remember the sound of children laughing from the other room.
what it feels like to have your heart swell inside and tears fill your eyes because you have experienced sheer bliss.
that is what their laughter does to me.

i want to remember that affection soothes my kale better than anything else.
that the moment i pull him to me, he starts to calm, melt, let go of whatever anger or frustration was troubling him.
he wants to know that he is loved unconditionally and of more value to me than anything earthly.

i want to remember what it was like to parent through the little years with ricky.
what i feel when i catch him looking at me, and he tells me i'm his girl, his person.
how safe i feel when he grabs my hand or wraps me into his engulfing hugs.

i want to have etched into my heart the moment i walk in the door after a long run and my boys act as if they haven't seen me for days.
their eagerness. their love. their happiness.

i want to remember life.
so that i can celebrate all of the good, all of the struggles, all of the happy and sad, all of the love that has come together to shape each of us.


6 comments:

  1. Me too. I love how you phrased this. I am coming to realize just what a luxury time is. I want P. to have memories about a mom who wasn't always rushing her or preoccupied, but one who was patient with and interested in her thoughts and feelings. Thank you, friend. <3

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    1. thank you so much, friend!! btw, i had no idea you had kept a blog for a time...you seriously had the cutest baby bump ever!!!

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  2. i'm big on memories around here too!!
    great photographs :)

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    1. thank you so much!! and thanks for stopping by!! xo

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  3. i blogged about memories this week, must be on alot of mamas hearts~!

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    1. i think you are right! your post was so sweet and i loved the picture of your two!!! xoxo

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