Friday, February 28, 2014

coffee date.

while i love me a good coffee shop and sitting for hours over a warm cup and quality conversation, the reality these days, is that we would meet at a park with our coffee and kids...or I would have you over to sit in our living room to enjoy some soul deep conversation while the little ones play around us. 

i would probably tell you that i have started drinking Dandy Blend rather than coffee, but that i will always splurge on a chai tea latte from a real coffee shop from time to time. hands down, my favorite warm drink.

today i would want to hear much more about you, than share about me. sitting and listening is typically my forte. i often avoid true vulnerability with others, but am working on i know freedom and grace and growth are all found when we share.

so, once i got past the shy phase, i would want to tell you about how my madden started potty training this week. i know, super deep. ;) but for us, it really is a big deal and i am so very proud of him. i do not force potty training at all. i introduce it, talk about it, encourage it, buy fun undies, and then let my children know that whenever they are ready, we can start. and for both of my oldest, that has been a few months after they turn three. madden woke up one morning and decided he didn't want to wear a diaper anymore and that was that. he hasn't had an accident since. i love having this process be a peaceful one where my little ones feel the pride and accomplishment of choosing a change and making that change all on their own. 

i would also tell you about my midwife appointment last week and how i got the sweetest glimpse of how well my boys will love this little girl. they are always so sweet and gentle with me, showering me with love, but it dawned on me this time that the way they treat me, will transfer to her as well. i was laying on the table while my midwife listened to my baby's heartbeat. kale was rattling off questions as she let him turn on the doppler and explained what we were hearing, all the while intent on making sure i was ok. madden stood by my head, holding it in his hands and stroking my hair. he kept coming close to my face to give me kisses. it was obvious that he was concerned about what was going on and wanted me to know that it was going to be ok. and then my little tobin...he wanted to be right on that table with me, draped across me with his head rested on my if to say, she is mine so please be kind. i am loved so well by these large part due to the example set by their daddy. 

i would probably tell you about how much i am enjoying my BSF Bible study over Matthew. it has been perfectly convicting and challenging...bringing so much hope and peace as i study the life of Christ as He walked this earth. one of the biggest impressions left on my heart week after week is that when you know Christ incarnate, you simply cannot live the same as you did before. this book has been challenging me in similar ways. i would also share that my favorite part of this specific Bible study is how they teach the children. each of my boys are being led by the sweetest women who teach them through Matthew as well. my boys love it. my oldest usually heads straight to his class without a second thought, but this last week was a little different. we typically stroll in, drop tobin off first, then madden and then kale. he stayed by me the whole time patiently waiting. when we got to his class, he looked up at me with the biggest tears filling his eyes. he wasn't making a scene or drawing attention, just looking at me with sadness. i immediately wrapped him up in my arms and held him. his teachers were sweet and animated, welcoming him in...but i didn't tell him it would be ok...or to just go in because he was going to have so much fun...or ask him what was wrong. i just held him. and let him know i loved him more than anything. after a moment, he wiped his eyes, took a breath and went right in. my heart always does to see my boys wrestling with something. i asked him later that day about it...and he simply said, "i just wanted to be by you." and if it wasn't already, my heart completely melted. 

we have always had adoption in our hearts...both individually and as a couple. we are currently deciding between two different agencies before starting the process. we plan to do foster to adopt and are eager to see how God guides us through this process. we often sit in the evenings and dream about our family and how it will continue to grow. it may be next year...or it may be years from now. we have known from the beginning that we would let God grow our family however He desires. one of my dear friends has had a little boy in her home and heart who is now going back with his biological family. she shared this post on Facebook the other day and it humbled me...brought me to tears...and filled me with a fervent desire to move forward with the process. you can read it here.

and of course, I'm sure i would tell you some really important things like i am trying to find a dress for my sisters wedding, that i am carrying this little girl very different than i carried my boys, that i really want to highlight my hair (but probably never will because i always chicken out), and that i am desperate for warm spring/summer weather...and a tan. ;)

i most definitely would have loved this little chat and been filled to the brim with encouragement....wanting to do it again soon!

**these are a few pics from a recent trip to the children's museum.

linking up with casey.


  1. By far one of my favorite posts of yours! Hope one day to get to meet you and sit down and have a cup of coffee with you ☺

    1. Jenny, you are seriously the sweetest!!! I would LOVE to have a real-life sit down over coffee with you...maybe someday! ;)