Monday, July 28, 2014

the wait.

"wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"
psalm 27:14

"to all the mamas who are waiting patiently (and sometimes anxiously) for labor to begin: remember that this is your first act of selflessness as a mother. there will be many more. but for now this acceptance of your child's unique journey, this willingness to trust your baby, will set the tone for your future relationship." 
l. curtis

it almost seems silly to want to write about the waiting period we walked as Ellis did not come until 42 weeks. especially when there are many, many others who are "waiting" for desires within their heart to come to fruition for months, years, even lifetimes. in the grand scheme of things, waiting those last few weeks for a person who has been in your heart forever, doesn't seem that significant. and at the same time, for a mother who is waiting to meet the heart that has been beating within her for the first time, even a day can seem like an eternity, tempting you to become anxious and impatient.

even though due dates are extremely arbitrary, we as mamas can tend to set our little hearts on meeting our baby sometime very close to that date. and the pressure sure is on once that date rolls around and there is still no baby. especially in a culture where inductions and scheduled c-sections result in a large number of babies being born before, on, or right after that due date. family, friends, even complete strangers seem to be watching you like a pot of water waiting to boil. a part of me started to feel anxious and if i was somehow disappointing people by not performing on time and just having that baby already. even our new neighbors (who we do not know well at all), asked several times why we weren't inducing yet. i, however, was prepared to go as long as my baby needed...even though this meant a few days and nights of wrestling with anxiousness and impatience...

ever so gently, the Lord would draw me away for some soulful time of prayer and meditation...a sweet time with Him, to remind me of His perfect, sovereign ways...of the fact that patient expectation leads to blessing...he reminded me that when we praise Him in our waiting, He gives us the continued strength to keep going. i would sit in these moments and talk to my girl, letting her know that i was ready for her, whenever God decided for that to be. peace would wash over me and a renewed resolve to wait another day would be planted in my heart.

when Ellis came, it was immediately clear that she had come at her perfect, pre-ordained time. even my midwives, who look at different things like the way her ears and hands bend, the wrinkles on her feet and the amount of vernix on her skin, remarked that she wasn't an "overdue" baby at all, but was just on time.

i am thankful for the lesson of patience that was pressed further into my heart...and for the sweet blessing that followed.


  1. Love this Katie! Can't wait to meet Ellis. :)

  2. oh, how I needed this today! I am only 39 weeks (with my first!), but I am SO ready, and the wait has me discouraged and down. I continue to pray that the Lord will grant me the patience that is needed to get through, and the wisdom to throw off "peer pressure" from all those around me to produce a baby! And congrats on your beautiful girl!
    What a great reminder to me that baby will come at just the right time!